I do many things in life, as many people do. In fact, this could be said of everyone, being that life is just a perpetual state of doing. Of course, some things are of more consequence than others. Some things are so inconsequential that we don’t think of them as things at all– like the things we do in between doing things– like breathing or thinking. Then again, these seemingly inconsequential ‘things’ are in fact of great consequence. So once again I’ve highlighted some inherent dichotomy in the thing of being and reflected it upon itself… (everything is nothing, infinity = zero, and so on).
Anyway what I meant to say was that one of the many things I do (that could be considered of relative consequence) is make music. Of all the things I have done, this is the thing I have done the longest and most passionately. Oddly, the majority of those who know me are unaware of this- which is fine. The secret hope is that one day the opposite of this will be true, and most people will forget what I do now and know me for my sound. That’s the secret hope anyway. For now, I just make my music alone in quiet rooms when no one is listening. Though I have performed many times, I am still very shy. Composing and recording are still, to me, embarrassingly organic; frighteningly intimate.
I’ve found, in these quiet hours playing alone, that my sound is comprised of many distinct musical styles, spanning several genres. My voice is the same. I have been working forever to find a singular sound, but due to my inability to nail it down, my compositional progress has slowed to a tired crawl…
…but today it occurred to me, that I dont have to have just one sound… I mean, right? I can do whatever I want. My sonic repertoire can be as multifaceted as it is capable of being. I am hoping this realization frees me. I am tired, like I’ve overslept and can’t get out of bed. I am ready to wake up. It’s what I am here for.