Just now

I just felt this very sharp mental ache, this sort of painful hopelessness. Currently, I am having trouble reconciling many things in my life- which isn’t to say I am troubled, but it is to say I have been highly contemplative lately– at least more than usual. At the moment I am struggling with comprehending all available means by which to convey things: ideas, character, intentions, self. We exist in a brilliant and dangerous time. People can reach total fruition… or never even come close. It seems it is becoming increasingly difficult to be perceived as an exclusive entity; as a being of one’s sole creation– as if the notion of creating one’s self based on an implicit construct is anything but conceivable. Constantly being labeled and misinterpreted based on the assumption that one is not only fully present in contemporary culture, but hyperaware, appreciative, and adopting of current social paradigm is truly tiresome. This idea, however, is only part of the issue.
Assumption is perhaps indicative of a complete lack of thought (ha, yeah I just said that). But seriously, think about it: the speed with which people evaluate one another is exceptional. This speed, I believe, is influenced by other things– perhaps the speed of technology and the availability of information, or further, the concision of communicated notions. There is a severe lack of articulated thought, and an abundance of ‘communicative’ imagery circulating in cyberspace. This, even still is not the most basic concerning issue.
To convey specific things, people utilize the appropriate and necessary means. To express my body temperature I use a number. To express my soul I use the several thousand words of the English language… or write a song. To tell you I love you, I may not use words or thought at all, I may just use my body.
So, in a hyper communicative society, have the excessive means cheapened the message? Is the obsessive communication via super finite text and endlessly trivial imagery not deeply questionable… concerning even?  Are we all just a bunch of images? Can we be represented by a single image? Can the whole of our being be captured in 140 characters or less? Are we all hilarious geniuses because we have the capacity to gather and recycle what may have once been a deeply clever original thought? Should our shared convictions be profound? Is depth desirable, even? Are we creating anything new? Are we creating anything at all? What are we? Who are we? Are we? This is [more than likely] an issue.

I don’t know. All I know is- inside of me, I feel individual. I am, of course, a product of everything within and without me, but I am forever aware of that which is divine within– that which was never given, taught, or shown– that which was always there and can never be extracted. Isn’t there some part like that inside every person? Why can’t we see it in eachother, but more importantly, why can’t we see it in ourselves?

I could go on and on…


About TARA

American Photographer. Musician. Writer. Science enthusiast.
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