this morning in between my alarms.
my words can’t even begin to capture the detail… but even the subject was particularly striking.
Ok so i was in a weird high school running around chasing people around to ask them questions… i was detective, i was investigating the homicides of 3 high school boys, 3 separate murders.. and I was just running around what appeared to be my old high school talking to people. finally i pinned it on this like 13 year old little blonde girl, this awkward and under developed girl, but very pretty. i remember she was wearing slip on adidas sandals, the ones you wear after u play sports….
i remember talking to her mom, and she was just like, ‘she’s a sociopath’, she was sobbing, and the way she said it was like she’d known all along. ‘she doesn’t even know what she did was wrong’, she said. the girl was standing on the other side of the room and we both looked over at her the way people look at their children with physical or mental disabilities, like ‘oh well’.
we (the detectives) let her go, but i came back a week later and she’d killed another boy and after talking to a teacher in the hallway i remember just watching the little girl walk away from us in slow motion down a hall way and i just remember thinking ‘wow… she’ll never stop’. then all of a sudden….
i was in alaska (it resembled a Caribbean coastline, but i knew it was alaska) visiting some Alaskan dude that lived in a stilted house on the water and the ocean was the clearest turquoise… it looked like the Caribbean but i knew it was the middle of winter and the water was freezing… but i asked him if i could go for a swim and he was like ‘no it’s storm season’ and i was really disappointed. I’d braved freezing water for a mountain swim before- i thought i could handle it. Then all of a sudden the ocean (which was like 10 feet below the back deck of the house) started getting really choppy and stormy except there was not storm, the water was just moving, getting more and more violent by the second, and then the waves got higher than the house and we couldn’t close the back door and the house was swaying and a huge wave finally smashed into the back of the house and i was swept out and i remember the water being so cold it woke me up.
Two things that will be stuck in my mind for the rest of the day: the color of that Alaskan water and the small girl with waist-length wild blonde hair standing on her tip toes in those Adidas sandals (paired with grey wool socks), grasping the ledge of a classroom door window, trying to peer inside.