Ok, so my day started with a passionate discussion about the pros and cons of 90’s boy bands in an attempt to discern who the ‘best’ one was. I made a pot of Colombian coffee and did my make up in front of my mirror in my pink peace sign robe. I convinced myself to wear my bright purple spandex leggings to work that kind of match my hair. I got to work on time. I shot some stuff. I did some heavy thinking. And then I totally plummeted. You know, like, I just lost it. Not in a loud, angsty, status updating way… just a graceful, quiet declination. It happens every now and then. Pretty normal… but I would really just like for Fridays to be joyous, not emotionally tumultuous. So I went to lunch; I went for a walk, breathed air, closed my eyes… and when I came back, this song came into my head….
Now, I may or may not spiral off into some inexplicable despair over the lack of a significant relationship in my present life, but at least I’ll be in dealing with a familiar despair. For a minute there, I felt totally hopeless; lost in a foreign void. Ya know what I mean? Like, when you need to see color, any color, just one glimpse of color, and you look around, you look everywhere, and everything is black and white. It’s like nothing will suffice; a question with no answer. Some people feel that way all the time. I can’t imagine. I couldn’t do it. I have to make color. I have to find solace. I have to find the answer. If nothing else, I have to find the beauty in the pain… in the end, it’s always more brilliant than the pleasure. Pleasure is pleasant. Pain is profound.
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